Academic Recognition
by GBscientist
Summary: Unusual scientific theories get laughed at or buried, but when they turn out to be right, one has to give recognition.
1. Chapter 1

Academic Recognition

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

"Hey! Sam! Take a look at this thing I just found," Leo Spitz stage whispered to his room-mate while staring at his computer screen.

"Ughhhh. Leo, it's 2am," Sam complained as he rolled over in bed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come here," Leo demanded. Sam, knowing that Leo was implacable when he was in one of these moods, forced himself out of bed and staggered over to Leo's computer.

"What's so important?" Sam grunted as he rubbed his eyes.

"Look at this paper I found! It's a real, honest to God, archeological paper about alien artifacts under the Great Pyramid," Leo enthused.

"Well, duh. The whole world knows about that. Devastator ripped the top off the Great Pyramid to dig up the sun harvester," Sam countered.

"Yeah, but this paper was written in 1984."

"Move over. Lemme see," Sam demanded before shouldering Leo out of the way. Leo spent the next 10 minutes uncomfortably hunched over while Sam read over his shoulder. "Leo, this doesn't say anything about alien artifacts. It's a translation of Khufu's proclamation starting the construction of the Pyramid. There's some stuff in there about building a mountain over the demons' temple, but nowhere does the word 'alien' show up."

"Man, you are so blinded by the system! The demons' temple is the sun harvester, and the sun harvester is an alien artifact. You've gotta put the pieces together. Read between the lines!"

"We know about alien artifacts now, but there's no indication that this prof did."

"Come on, Sam. How long would any professor last if they said in writing that they thought there were alien artifacts under the Great Pyramid? I'm thinking about 10 seconds. He obviously knew it, but self-censored to avoid getting caught by The Man."

"Leo, you're insane," Sam said before standing up, stretching, and walking back to his bed. He flopped down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. "I take it back. You're not insane. The government was looking for aliens and Simmons was one of them."

"Sector 7!" Leo crowed.

"Shhhhh!" Sam chided Leo for the noise in a slight panic. "Okay, you've got a point. E-mail the address of that article to Bumblebee and we'll see what he says in the morning."

"Deal, but you've got to admit to the big guy that I found this."

"Fine, Leo," Sam rolled to face away from his room-mate and did his best to go back to sleep.

* * *

"I have a document that I believe you will find interesting," Bumblebee transmitted to Optimus Prime.

"You may transmit it," Optimus replied. In a flash, the PDF of the scanned article crossed the world from Pennsylvania to Diego Garcia. "The implications of this document are indeed interesting. The humans obviously constructed the pyramid atop the sun harvester, not our forbears, so the harvester must have sat exposed to the elements for some years."

"Reference to 'demons' indicates that societal memory of The Fallen remained, even if he and his troops were absent," Bumblebee added.

"So it seems. Pharaoh Khufu's end of reassuring his people that the danger of the demons was past seems to have succeeded as mention of metal demons has made few, if any, appearances in archeological data from Egypt."

"Vowing to spend eternity inside the 'demon temple', beneath an artificial mountain, just to allay some fears seems extreme to me," Bumblebee commented.

"You must remember, old friend, that the humans of Khufu's time were not the people we know. They were far more superstitious and unscientific. Khufu's promise held great weight under the cultural and religious traditions of his people."

"That sounds right, I guess. I have thinking that humans were not always as they currently are."

"Many of our own people have difficulty remembering that we have a past that predates any living memory. If it were not so, we would never have forgotten the original Primes."

"Heh. I just remembered that you were in charge of the archeological dig that uncovered the Primes' resting place. I only sent the document to you for curiosity's sake, not professional interest. My apologies."

"No apologies are required. I believe that I will look into this further. It will do me good to have a hobby. I don't think I've had time for pleasant diversions since the war started, but with Megatron licking his wounds and the continuing new arrivals, I finally have some downtime. Thank you, Bumblebee."

"My pleasure, Prime. I did a bit of background research. The author is still alive, but is retired. The two individuals who wrote the translation manual he references, W.P. Emerson and D. Todros, are both deceased, but copies of the translation manual are available on Amazon or eBay. The manual appears to have fallen out of favour because it covers multiple rarely-seen dialects and grammatical structures of Ancient Egyptian that most scholars consider superfluous."

"You have done well, Bumblebee. Is there anything further?"

"Only that I was specifically instructed to inform you that the document in question was brought to my attention by Leonardo Ponce de Leon Spitz."

"Indeed," Optimus laughed. "Good night, Bumblebee."

* * *

W.P. Emerson and D. Todros are property of Elizabeth Peters. They are used without permission and for no monetary gain.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

Sam and Leo were studying in their dorm room the next evening when Sam's cell phone rang. Sam had to scramble a bit to grab it from his coat pocket (which was hanging on the door handle) without getting off the bed, but he made it.

"Hello?" Pause. "Oh, uh, hi." Pause. "He showed it to you already? What did you think?" Pause. "Really? Okay, I'll give the phone to him." Sam handed the phone to Leo.

"Mr. Spitz, I want to thank you for bringing that article to my attention," Optimus Prime said through the cell phone.

"Oh, um, it was nothing, really," Leo stammered. For all his talk of 'fighting the system' any brush with actual authority scared the pants off him. "I was just doing my usual web surfing, looking for stuff The Man doesn't want brought up, and I found the paper."

"Your diligence and tenacity for paranormal investigation impresses me, Mr. Spitz. Would you like to accompany me in following up on this paper?" Optimus offered.

"Oh, you bet I would! What's the mission?"

"I intend to track down the author of the paper and inquire about how much he found out, but did not include in the paper. If he proves trustworthy, I may request his further assistance."

"So, what do you need my help with? That sounds pretty easy for you."

"I cannot interact easily without revealing myself. While I can project a hologram of a human to act as an avatar for disguise purposes, the hologram cannot interact with physical matter."

"So, you need a human to touch stuff."

"Correct. Explaining how I got through a doorway without opening the door, for example, would be…inconvenient," Optimus admitted.

"Okay, I'm in. When do we go?"

"Bumblebee will bring you to a rendezvous point away from your university. Would Friday afternoon, following the completion of your classes for the week, be acceptable?"

"Yeah, sure! Oh, and call me Leo. Mr. Spitz just sounds way to formal for me."

"As you wish, Leo. Will you please pass the telephone back to Sam?" Optimus requested.

"Okay," Leo agreed and passed the phone back to Sam. Sam talked with Optimus about the details of Friday for a while and then bid the Autobot leader good bye.

"So," Sam said with a smile to Leo. "Your first solo mission."

"It's not solo. Optimus is going to be there." Leo replied, puzzled.

"I meant solo as in you're the only human going along." Sam continued to smile.

"Oh, I didn't think about it that way," Leo said with a gulp. "What if this is really a trap to shut me up forever?!"

"Oh, can it, Leo. If the Autobots wanted you dead you'd be a little cloud of carbon dust by now," Sam coolly lay back on his bed and returned to reading his textbook.

"Carbon dust?!" Leo squeaked.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

Friday afternoon came slowly for Leo. His anticipation of the upcoming mission with Optimus Prime made his classes monumentally dull by comparison, and his perception of time slowed to a crawl as a consequence. But, time moving on as it does, Friday afternoon did, finally, arrive.

"Did you stuff your entire closet in that bag?" Sam asked Leo as the latter tossed a full hockey duffel bag into Bumblebee's trunk.

"No, but a man's gotta be prepared for the unexpected," Leo replied. "I've got a parka, hat, gloves, long underwear, shaving kit, rain coat, 5 changes of socks and tighty-whiteys, two pairs of pants, 4 shirts, a dress suit, and a wet suit in there."

"A wet suit? Leo, Optimus isn't going to take you deep-sea diving."

"Probably not, but what if we end up on a beach with a bunch of hotties? I gotta have a wet suit so I can do some surfing."

"You don't have a board."

"I'll rent one on the beach."

"You don't know how to surf."

"Details, details," Leo dismissed as he got into Bumblebee's passenger side. Sam shook his head and got into the driver's seat and they took off for the rendezvous point.

Bumblebee did the actual driving because Sam had no idea where they were going. The ride was about half an hour long; just far enough to get out of town to a secluded barn. The doors of the barn were open and Bumblebee rolled inside to join Optimus and two smaller Autobots.

"What are they doing here?" Leo asked with some hostility.

"We glad to see you too, Chia-head," the red Autobot replied while blinking his headlights.

"Leo, Mudflap and Skids will be providing us escort for this mission. They are optimized for certain kinds of combat that I am less proficient in."

"Yeah! We got the fastest guns this side a Cybertron. Ain't no ugly little flyin' Cons getting' past the Twins," the green Autobot, Skids, commented.

"Leo, if you would load up, we can get underway," Optimus said as he opened his driver side door.

"Uh, sure," Leo agreed before he hauled the duffel bag from Bumblebee's trunk to Optimus' cab (with some difficulty) and then heaved the bag into Optimus' sleeper compartment while settling himself in the driver's seat. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Sam, Bumblebee, have good weekend. I will try my best to have Leo back here by Sunday night," Optimus said. Sam nodded and Bumblebee blinked his headlights. "Autobots: Let's roll out!" Upon Optimus' command, the three vehicles drove around Bumblebee and out of the barn, and then Skids pulled out in front of Optimus and Mudflap took position behind.

* * *

After several hours of travel, the small convoy drove slowly down a residential street in a suburb of college town in Connecticut.

"Skids, Mudflap, start patrolling in a circuit around my location," Optimus ordered over the radio.

"Got it, boss bot," Skids replied for the twins, who drove away from Optimus in opposite directions to begin their patrol.

"Leo, I am going to activate my hologram in the passenger seat. Do not be alarmed," Leo nodded and a man in his late 50s came into focus in the passenger seat. Optimus' hologram avatar wore a red plaid shirt, jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. He looked perfectly like a trucker, but somehow fit Optimus as well. "Repeat back to me the cover story," Optimus ordered politely. The hologram's mouth moved perfectly in synchronization with Optimus' words, in fact, it sounded like the words originated from the hologram.

"You are Orion Paxton and I'm your assistant. You're germophobic, so you won't touch anything or accept offered food. I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut," Leo recited.

"Very good. We are good to go," Optimus said with a nod of his hologram's head. Optimus pulled his truck form into the driveway of a nondescript house and stopped. "Leo, take point."

Leo nodded and got out of the truck. He walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. After a few moments, an elderly man, dressed in an outfit a lot similar to Optimus', came to the door. His thin white hair moved a little bit in the breeze as he opened the door.

"Can I help you?" the gentleman asked.

"Uh, are you Professor Jones?" Leo asked.

"Hmph. You teach for enough years and you're stuck with that title forever. Yes, I'm Henry Jones. Who are you, and what do you want?"

"I'm Leo Spitz. My boss, he's in the truck, he wants to talk to you about a paper you wrote a long time ago."

"So why are you at the door and not him?"

"He's a germophobe. He's too paranoid to touch most stuff."

"Nut-job. Fine. Tell your boss you can come in," Jones said as he stood back from the door way. Leo waved to the truck and Optimus' avatar made his way to the house. Leo went in first and held the door for Optimus. Optimus removed his hat to reveal black hair with a touch of grey.

"Professor Jones, thank you for taking the time to speak to me. My name is Orion Paxton."

"Well, Mr. Paxton, why don't we go sit down, and you can tell me what you want to know," Jones led Leo and Optimus to his living room where he sat down in a large leather recliner. Leo sat down at one end of the couch that was in the room, while Optimus pulled a cloth from his pocket, set it upon the seat at the opposite end of the couch, and sat down.

"I would like to discuss your translation of Pharoah Khufu's decree to construct the Great Pyramid," Optimus said.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

"Khufu's decree huh? I haven't thought much about that for a long time," Jones said. "What would you like to know?"

"Did you ever find any earlier references to the 'demons' that built the structure the pyramid supposedly covers?" Optimus' holographic avatar asked.

"If you read them right, by which I mean the right context with the right translation, there are references to the demons in every Egyptian culture until the Fouth Dynasty. The greatest concentration, though, can be found in the few Halfan drawings that have been discovered. They ruled from 18 000 to 15 000 BC and over half the pictograms from that period depict the demons."

"Why do the depictions end during the Fourth Dynasty?"

"This is just a theory, mind, but I figure that the construction of the pyramid over the demon temple was done in synchronization with an extermination of the old demon-fearing traditions."

"How do you just kill an oral tradition?" Leo blurted out.

"It's not that hard, kid," Jones said with a pitying glance at Leo. "They Egyptians were big fans of huge bureaucratic undertakings, and killing everyone who followed the old demon worship and wiping out every reference they could find would have been relatively easy."

"Easy?!" Leo was shocked.

"Sure. In six years, with modern technology, the Nazis killed 6 million Jews. That's a million a year. Now, Khufu's bureaucrats didn't have modern methods, but they had a lot fewer people to deal with, not more than a hundred thousand, and decades to do it. Easy."

"What would the motivation have been for such an act?" Optimus asked, trying to bring the conversation back on topic.

"The Pharaohs were revered as living gods by the Egyptians. By burying the demon temple under his artificial mountain, the Pyramid, and exterminating demon worship, Khufu cemented his god-hood in the minds of his people. It made his reign, and that of his successors, utterly unassailable. And just to keep it in everyone's mind, he used the Pyramid as his own burial chamber. 'I shall protect my people from the demons, even in the afterlife', if I remember the text of the decree correctly."

"That is correct," Optimus agreed.

"It was basically a political move, and the biggest snub anyone could ever throw at the demonic religion."

"Indeed. Were there ever depictions of the demons?" Optimus asked.

"Now there's an interesting thing. There are two different schools of thought on what the Egyptians were depicting as demons. In some images you see jagged humanoid giants associated with the word 'demon'. In other images, the term is depicted with streamlined objects that either fly or hover just above the ground."

"Which one do you think is correct?"

"Well that's the rub. If the depictions were geographically separated, I'd say we were looking at two different interpretations of the same tradition."

"I take it that they are not?"

"No. In fact, in one case, both depictions were found on pottery fragments that came from pits 6 feet apart. My best guess is that there were two different types of demons: the humanoid ones and the streamlined ones."

"Could the demons have simply possessed multiple forms?" Optimus asked.

"I suppose so. Other places have traditions of shape-shifting demons, so it's entirely possible. The point against that theory is that there's no reference in the images or writing to describe shape-shifting."

"Perhaps they didn't have the language to describe it," Optimus opined.

"Oh, come on. People don't make up religious myths if they don't have the language to describe the thing they're mythologizing," Jones scoffed.

"Unless they weren't making it up," Optimus said.

"Mr. Paxton, if you're one of those UFO nuts and you think I can help you prove it, you're dead wrong. According to the US government, our planet has never had contact with an alien species, and that's all I can say about it," Jones said grumpily.

"Oh, I don't believe this!" Leo blurted as he shot out off the couch. "We came all this way and Gramps here is siding with The Man. Let's go Op-Orion."

"The Man? You think I like spewing government bull crap, kid?" Jones demanded as he stood, also. "The fact is that I've seen things that would make you piss yourself and roll up into a little ball. I spout that garbage to keep snot-nosed wimps like you from dissolving into hysterical panic!"

"Leo! Sit!" Optimus ordered. Leo's eyes widened in shock and he dropped back onto the couch. "Professor Jones, please accept my apology for Leo's presumption. He has some issues with official information policy."

"Hmph. I know what it's like to be young and sure of yourself," Jones said as he sat back down. "But I also know that most young punks aren't half as tough as they think they are."

"But if the young were not so ignorant of their own limitations, advancements would never be made," Optimus countered.

"Heh. True enough. So, Mr. Paxton, I assume that you've seen more than average, too."

"Far more."

"So you would agree that the face that high-jacked the TV signals a couple of months back, and those military experiments that got loose in New York at the same time, may be related to the demons?"

"From what do you draw that conclusion?"

"The face had an elongated head that looked a hell of a lot like a pharaohnic crown and those robots looked about as close to 'jagged humanoid giants' as I can image."

"Professor, would you be interested in taking a drive to a less populated local so that we might share our experiences?" Optimus offered.

"OK, but on two conditions. First, I drive my own car. Second, I'm bringing my gun."

"Agreed."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

Leo and Optimus drove out of town with Dr. Jones following behind in his old Ford Escort ZX2. Mudflap and Skids tailed at a discrete distance. Several kilometers outside of the town, Optimus spotted a suitably abandoned warehouse and pulled in. Jones followed a few moments later and the twins parked just down the road.

Once he was convinced the area was secure, Optimus' holographic avatar stepped down from Optimus' cab. Dr. Jones obligingly got out of his car and sat on the hood. Leo just stayed put in Optimus' driver seat.

"So, you said you'd like to share experiences, Mr. Paxton. Why don't you go first?" Jones suggested.

"Alright," Optimus agreed. "I am absolutely certain that the demons are the cybernetic beings that revealed themselves recently. The one that high-jacked the television system was a particularly ancient and odious member of the species named The Fallen, who was the instigator of the hostile incursions on this planet."

"So this, 'Fallen' is over 17 000 years old? That's hard to believe, even if the rest of what you're saying is true," Jones replied.

"The Fallen was considerably older than that, but how much I am not certain. The recorded history of the species does not go back far enough," Optimus said.

"So, why is he here?"

"The Fallen constructed a device to harvest the energy from the sun by causing it to go supernova. His action was in violation of the highest laws of the species. He was stopped by the other leaders of his people, but at terrible cost, and has been attempting to reactivate the device ever since."

"That's a very interesting story, Mr. Paxton, but you're not giving me lot of proof to back it up with."

"That is true. Relate to me your story and I will consider providing the proof you request."

"Fair enough. In 1957 my Pop and I went out to Peru to rescue my mom, who had been kidnapped by Russkie soldiers. We found this crystal skull, like the Mitchell-Hedges skull, but definitely not human and free of tool marks. Then the Russkies captured us, too, and took the skull. Their boss, a freaky broad name Spalko, was said that returning the skull to Akator, the Spanish called it El Dorado, would grant the person who returned it great power. She made Pop lead her to Akator, and she put the skull back on the crystal skeleton it came from. Then the room we were in, which held 13 of these crystal skeletons, started spinning and sucking everything into it. We had just enough time to get out of there before the entire valley was sucked into…I don't know where. Then a big silver saucer, just like in those goofy sci-fi movies rose out of the mess and disappeared."

"You mean it flew away?" Optimus asked for clarification.

"Nope. One second it was there, then a flash of light, then it was gone. The CIA and FBI grilled us about it for a two weeks straight, but none of us could figure out what the heck was going on. Ox, that's Harold Oxley, he found the skull before us and put it back he found it and then got caught along with Mom, he said the alien skeletons and the ship were extra-dimensional and had gone into 'the space between spaces'. I doubt I'll ever know what he meant by that."

"I have some information that could corroborate your story, Professor, but I doubt you will believe me until I provide you with the proof of my previous assertions," Optimus said.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Jones agreed.

"Very well. Leo, please exit the cab," Optimus called to Leo, who had been listening, but kept silent. Leo got out and joined Jones in leaning on the car. "Professor Jones, the man you see before you is not my true form."

"I figured something was up from the detached way you talked about Earth."

"What you see before you is a hologram," Optimus said before passing his hand through Leo's head.

"Jeez! Could you please not use me as your visual aide?" Leo demanded.

"My apologies, Leo," Optimus continued. "My name is Optimus Prime. I am the leader of the Autobots, a species of autonomous cybernetic organisms from the planet Cybertron. The beings that the ancient Egyptians referred to as demons were my ancestors and The Fallen was a distant uncle of mine. I killed him in battle at Giza less than two days after made his ultimatum."

"Well, Optimus Prime, other than a damn spiffy hologram, you don't look much like a demon to me," Jones said skeptically.

"The truck is the 'streamlined' form depicted by the Halfans. We call it an alternate mode. It allows us greater long-distance speed and disguise."

"Okay. Can I see your not-alternate mode?'

"I must warn you, Professor Jones, most humans find my primary mode imposing."

"I'll deal with it."

"Very well," Optimus said. Within moments the flame painted truck sitting in front of Henry Jones in the barn turned into a shifting, twisting, splitting, compacting, changing mass of metal parts before settling into a massive bipedal robotic form about 28 feet tall.

"Yup. That's pretty imposing," Jones agreed, his eyes wide with surprise. Had he not already been sitting on his car, he would have fallen on his butt. "I'll accept that your story has more than a little truth to it. You certainly fit the description of a jagged humanoid."

"Trust me, there are more jagged individuals on the other side," Optimus said as he bent down.

"The other side? You mean the species loyal to The Fallen."

"They are not a separate species from my own, merely a different political and ideological entity. They are called the Decepticons and are lead by The Fallen's disciple, Megatron, who also happens to be my brother."

"Your brother?!?" Leo squeaked.

"Hmm. That certainly fits with the stock heroic epic stereotypes," Jones said wryly.

"I have thought the same thing on many occasions, Professor," Optimus said with a head shake. "The gods have cruel sense of humour."

"So, you said you had some stuff to tell me about trans-dimensional aliens?"

"My people have met a species that hailed from another dimension. They called themselves the Vok, but we know little more."

"Interesting…You said something earlier about your recorded history not going back as far as The Fallen's origin. How far back does it go?"

"Only as far as the memory of our oldest living members," Optimus said. Jones looked shocked. "Our main repository of knowledge, the AllSpark, was destroyed two years ago after having been lost for millennia. I have come into possession of a copy of its knowledge, but I have yet to transcribe it to a readable form."

"That's a damn shame."

"A terrible shame, indeed," Optimus looked sad, but didn't feel it necessary to mention that the loss of the AllSpark was his fault. "That is why I want your help, Professor. Most of the Autobots started out as civilians and became soldiers out of necessity, but we are still too busy fighting the Decepticons to document our history or search for other artifacts of our past on Earth. Your knowledge of the ancient visits to Earth would be an excellent starting point for a thorough study of Cybertron-Earth interaction."

"So you want me to head up research into your past? Summarize and distribute the history of your living citizens and look into events here on Earth?"

"That is correct."

"Well, I can do part of it, but not all. I'm just too damned old to go treasure hunting anymore, so I'll have to delegate that. I'd be happy to help record your history, though."

"I am grateful for any assistance you can provide, Professor."

"Call me Mutt. Professor is way too stiff to be calling someone on a regular basis."

"Very well, Mutt. We will escort you back to your home now," Optimus transformed back into truck form.

"Uh, can I ride with you?" Leo asked. "I've got a ton of questions about El Dorado."

"Oh, fine," Jones agreed with resignation.

"Thanks, Mutt!" Leo said.

"Hold it! Optimus Prime can call me Mutt, you call me Professor. Or you can walk."

* * *

The occupants of the three cars and the truck were unaware that they were under surveillance as they left the barn and drove back to town. Their observer was nested in the branches of a tree along the road. It was also in communication with its master in orbit.

"Target of opportunity: Autobots' human allies. Mission: Termination," the unseen master commanded the observer.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Transformers is property of Takara-Tomy and Hasbro. I'm just borrowing it. Other characters are property of their respective owners.

* * *

"Did you ever find any other aliens?" Leo asked Professor Jones as they drove back to Jones' house.

"Nope."

"Vampires?"

"Nope."

"Zombies?"

"Nope."

"Mummies?"

"Only dead ones."

"What's that?" Leo asked as he glanced across Professor Jones to something in the sky to the left of the car.

"What's what?" Jones asked in reply. His answer came hurtling out of the sky moments later, and only Jones quick reflex to hit the break pedal saved them. A black and yellow blur slammed into the hood of the car, causing it to crumple. Almost instantly, the car heaved upwards as the blur launched itself skywards, taking the hood with it. "What the hell!"

Optimus Prime sped past on the shoulder before pulling a hard left turn and coming to a sliding stop perpendicular to the road.

"Skids, Mudflap, anti-aircraft fire!" Optimus commanded. "Mutt, Leo, take cover." Optimus said as he transformed to his massive bipedal mode and crouched above the humans protectively.

"Come here ya little squaker," a green subcompact shouted as it pulled up beside Optimus and unfolded into another robot.

"We gots some special candy just for you…" a similarly small orange car declared as it pulled up on the opposite side of Optimus from the green robot and transformed. Each of the two smaller robots had hands of mismatched size, one smaller and one large. As Professor Jones and Leo watched, the larger hand on each of the robots retracted and was replaced by a sizable Gatling gun. "I got 'em. I got 'em," the orange robot declared as he began firing at the airborne blur. Then the former hood of Professor Jones car slammed into his face. "Hey!"

"Nobody plays dirty wit' my bro' but m…"the rant of the green robot was cut off as the blur latched onto his face and started tearing. Now that the blur was relatively stationary, it could be recognized as a caricature of a vast predatory bird made of yellow and black metal.

Optimus was torn as to whether to help his troops or continue protecting the humans, who were obviously more vulnerable. The decision was taken out of his hands when Jones stepped out from under Optimus with his pistol drawn.

"Back off!" Jones shouted as he fired three rounds at the robot bird and missed. He fired another three rounds, one of which ricocheted loudly off the bird's head. The robot bird stopped what it was doing to stare at Jones for a moment before launching itself at him. Jones dove reflexively, but it was a barrage from the orange robot, who had finally gotten the twisted hood off his head, that drove off the robot bird. A loud screech accompanied a hit from one of the robot's shots and the bird departed for parts unknown, trailing smoke and flying with a wobble.

"We must depart quickly. There may be more Decepticons in the area," Optimus announced as he transformed back into truck mode. The doors on either side of his cab opened. "Get in."

"Fine, but I want my car back," Jones said grouchily as he got into the driver's seat. Leo got in on the passenger side. Both buckled up.

"I have notified a towing company of its location. Do not concern yourself with the cost of repairs," Optimus said while accelerating down the road.

"Thanks."

"Nice piece," Leo said in admiration of Jones' gun, which the Professor was in the process of returning to his belt holster.

"Pop used to swear by his old Browning and a whip. I never did get the hang of the whip. I'm way better with a blade than he was," Jones pulled a butterfly knife out of his pocket, flipped it open, tossed it, caught it, flipped it closed, and stuck it back in his pocket. "But I didn't think knife-work would do much to that nasty buzzard. Apparently my FNP didn't do much either."

"Without special ammunition and very accurate aim, human firearms do little damage to us," Optimus said. "If you wish, I will have my government contacts get in touch with you to provide you with such ammunition and training."

"Thanks. I prefer 40 Smith and Wesson."

"Duly noted," Optimus replied. The rest of the trip back to Jones' house was uneventful. Once there, Optimus hologram appeared in the back seat. "Would you like one of the Twins to stay as a guard?"

"Hold that thought for a few minutes, Optimus Prime," Jones said. "If you'll come back in the house, I'll go through my contact list and see who might be able to help you with field work."

"That would be greatly appreciated." The two men and the hologram made their way into the house and up to Jones upstairs office (actually an unused bedroom). Jones flipped through a card index for a few minutes, occasionally pausing at a name before shaking his head and moving on. In the end, he scribbled down two names with contact information on a piece of notepaper and handed it to Leo.

"These are two of the best archeologist out there, and both also happen to have been my students. They've got plenty of field experience, particularly with tough digs, and good heads on their shoulders."

"Dame L. Croft. I've never heard of her," Leo muttered. "B. F. Gates. Do you mean Benjamin Franklin Gates?"

"Yup."

"The one who discovered El Dorado?"

"Yup."

"I thought you discovered El Dorado?"

"No, I discovered Akator. The Plains Indians must have heard about Akator and liked the idea so much that they built their idea of what it would look like out in the Black Hills."

"So you both discovered different El Dorados?"

"Mine came first."

"Well, if you're going to be that way…" Leo paused in thought. "There's another guy who thought the Pyramids had something to do with aliens. Jamieson? Johnson?"

"Jackson. Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah! Why didn't you put him on the list?"

"Sometimes the mark of a good scientist is knowing what's acceptable and what isn't. Jackson's suggestion that the Pyramids were alien landing pads was so stupid that it got him laughed out of academia. Last I heard, he was teaching ESL somewhere in California."

"Thank you for your assistance, Mutt. I believe we have caused you enough trouble for today," Optimus said in an attempt to break up the conversation.

"I could use a bit of trouble to liven things up every now and then, Optimus Prime," Jones replied as he followed Leo and Optimus back downstairs.

"Please call me Optimus."

"Sure thing, Optimus."

"We will be in touch shortly with more details for you. Please accept Skids and Mudflap as guards and transportation until your car is returned," Optimus said in parting as he and Leo walked back out to Optimus truck form.

"What you mean transportation?" the green car squeaked from it's position parked along the curb. "The Twins ain't nobody's transportation but ours!"

"I ain't transportation. I's babysittin' you. You's transportation," the orange car replied. It was parked directly behind the green car.

"If we wasn't in disguise I'd kick yo' ass," The green car backed into the orange car for emphasis.

None of the bickering was noticed by Optimus or Leo. The world seemed strangely serene when the Twins were suddenly not their problem.

* * *

Dame L. Croft is property of Eidos Interactive.

B. F. Gates is property of Disney.

Daniel Jackson is property of MGM.

All were used without the permission or knowledge of their copyright owners.


End file.
